When Jake was born, someone asked me how it felt to be a Mom. I said it was like my heart was outside of my body. I love him with every ounce of my being.
Then a co-worker told me that being a parent was the best and worst thing a person could do. Parenthood brings the most joy and the most pain. I'd always hoped that my children would bring me more joy than pain and so far that is true.
But there are so many things out of a parent's control. There is no way to control a drunk driver, a bully at school or other random evils of the world. The world had my heart in its hands.
Sadly, no matter how much we worry about our loved ones or fight to keep them safe, we can only control so much. Our worlds can be turned upside down at any moment. We want to think we have the power to keep our loved ones - our children - safe, but we don’t. Not entirely. There is so much beyond our control. With this said it is easy to understand people who don’t love with all their hearts, because the more you love the more you open yourself up to pain. I can’t live that way though, and if you care enough to come here and read this you probably can’t either.
Scary, huh?
I don’t have any great wisdom about how we can deal with living and loving in a world that can be so cruel. I wish I did.
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